So, here I am sitting on my sofa, writing a blog post and enjoying a cup of coffee with my sweet lady not too far away. How did I get so lucky?
There was a time in my life where I felt I had no choice. I didn’t have any money, my relationship sucked, my job sucked and I was miserable. In fact, I was so miserable that contemplating the suicide was almost a daily occurrence. Suicide seemed easier than living this crappy life. I was reasonably well educated, I had a reasonably good childhood, I had a small family and, on the face of it, things seemed ok. But I wasn’t. I was a total ‘misery guts.’ Sometime later, my relationship at the time ended and I was left alone. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor with a knife in my hand with it against my wrist going, “will I or won’t I?” During a 12 month period, this occurred about four times. I had visited my parents to say “good bye” without actually saying that. I had simply had enough of this life. At the end of that 12 months, I said to myself “ENOUGH!” and things began to change. That was 10 years ago.
Well, I did. I chose to not live like that anymore. It was either make a different choice or oblivion. Funny how we wait until things get that bad. I was willing to do whatever it takes to change it. Not long afterwards, my sweet lady Eri showed up and we were married about a year later. Honestly, how did I get so lucky? Choice.
Truly, choice is the key to changing everything. You can have all the brilliant and magical tools in the world at your disposal but if you don’t actually choose to change, then those tools are worthless. The tools are the things that can assist you to make a choice but they do not create the choice for you. You must still do it. You, as an infinite being, can choose anything. Omission, doing nothing, is still a choice. To have no choice is also a choice. An infinite being always – and I mean ALWAYS – has a choice.
You always have choice
An infinite being always – and I mean ALWAYS – has a choice. At the time, I didn’t realise that and consequently was going deeper and deeper into the misery. I felt that that was the only choice I had. Was it, really?
Looking now, I had numerous choices available with suicide just being one of them. Eventually, I chose to get out of my crap and start living again. Really, would suicide have made any difference? No, not really. I had to choose to have a different reality. I had to choose to live again and not go to the misery as my default choice.
For an infinite being, to live in a no choice universe is like death. There doesn’t seem to be anything available. But that is the lie that we tell ourselves. It’s a blatant lie that you, as an infinite being, doesn’t have choice at any given moment. Some choices are easier to make than others but they are still choices.
As I started writing this post, all this misery from that period in my life started to come up, tears started flowing and such. I chose to not go there and within seconds it ended and I could continue writing with ease. That’s the power of choice.
How do you make a choice?
You just do. There’s no magic formula. There’s no pill or mind trick to do. You just make the choice. For instance, when the emotions started flowing at the start of writing this post, I basically said to myself, “NO!” and POC & PODed everything that was coming up. It was my choice to dwell on the past or not. The POC & POD was the tool but the “no” was the choice.
Big Choice versus Little Choice
A big choice would be where your choice affects not only you but others. For instance, you get into a relationship with someone. In that choice, you are not only getting that person but their whole family, friends and associates. Your choice to get into relationship with this person can affect all of them.
A little choice is where it only affects you. For instance, choosing to eat a particular food. That is a little, or simple, choice and has no on-going effect with others.
Whether you’re making a big choice or a little choice is really of no consequence as it is still a choice. However, please be aware that when you’re making a big choice, be aware of the other things that you may have to consider. Say you really like a girl and would really like to be in a relationship with her but you hate her family. Unfortunately, her family comes along with her and the relationship may be great in the beginning but may well end because of that hate you have of her family. There will be tension between you and her and unless you can convince her to divorce her family, the relationship will end.
It’s a choice to go into such a relationship. It’s a choice to stay in such a relationship. It’s a choice to end such a relationship. It’s all choice.
Make a different choice
Instead of simply suffering in the relationship, you can end the relationship or you can look at the judgements you have of her family and choose to deal with them. Also, a choice. The relationship may still end but at least you made a choice to look at what you were creating. In other words, you made a different choice.
You can also make a different choice with money, sex, job, business or whatever. All you have to do is acknowledge that you do have choice and then look at what choices you have available. There’s generally more than one. There’s usually dozens to choices available that you have been unwilling to see.
Upon doing that, all that is required is for you to choose one. If that doesn’t work out how you’d like, then choose again and again and again. You’re not a failure. You’re making choices to see what actually works for you. You’re gaining awareness and knowledge. Once you’ve done it a few times, you’re far better placed to make new and different choices in all areas of your life.
Choose! I dare you.
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